forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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