i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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