I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
