remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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