Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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