Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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