He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
