Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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