we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
