I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
