living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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