Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
