All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
