the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
two words...techno handjob
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
