I wish i was in the wii world.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
