So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
barbara walters just said penis...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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