:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
