Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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