Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
