i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
