i just had sex bonerless
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
