I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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