so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
