Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
