I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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