Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
