Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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