I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
