woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
