Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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