yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
