pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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