We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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