And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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