remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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