I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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