My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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