Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
