also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
