I wish i was in the wii world.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
