Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
