better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
