I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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