I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
