Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
