Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am one with the molecules
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
