How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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