you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
