Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
