I faked an abortion last night.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
