bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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